It is vital to remember that Jewish history has been filled with numerous tragedies. This is especially true of Ashkenazic Jewish history. Nearly every country in Europe expelled the Jews from time to time. In pre-Modern times, the greatest oppressors were the English, who, besides the usual occasional massacres, murdered huge numbers of Jews in 1190, finishing the job in 1290; burning us alive, throwing us off cliffs, and drowning us in the sea, with our children taken away, Baptized, and given to Christian families. With the coming of the Crusades, Christian soldiers massacred Jews while on their way to massacre Muslims. Fully a third of European Jews were wiped out, just like in the Holocaust. Joy departed from European Jewry, with mourning becoming a central theme in Jewish life ever since. The daily Birkat Kohanim (Priestly Blessing) was removed from the daily service, reserved only for holidays, as no one could, they felt, ever be happy enough to bless ever again. Prayers for the dead became central, even on holidays. Even on holidays? Especially on holidays! Prayers in memory of the victims of the Crusades were placed into the Shabbat prayers, where they remain until this day. This was especially true for the Spring, when armies, full of hate, would descend on Jewish communities on their way to other battles., A prime example of this is the Tal prayer, asking for dew, recited on the first day of Passover, and the Geshem prayer for rain, recited on the eighth day of Sukkot. While the Serpharadic version is sung in a joyous tune, extolling the beauty of Nature, the Ashkenazic is in a beautiful haunting tune, and speaks of suffering; "Our blood is spilt like water, give us water!". Every occasion for mourning, was infused with expressions of National anguish.. We can see this trend even today, with Holocaust memorial becoming a central theme, or even THE central theme, in Jewsih life. Not that it isn't vital to remember, but, in my opinion, these experiences should not define us. We read in the Talmud that the thousands of students of Rabbi Akiva died in a "plague" between Passover and Shavu'ot. Only five survived. This may mean an actual plague, or it may mean that they were casualties of the ill-fated Bar Kochba rebellion against Rome. No further details are given in the Talmud, nor is any mourning ritual for the casualties mentioned. Medieval Ashkenazic Jewry seized on this idea as an expression of their own suffering The period between Passover and Shavu'ot, all or in part, became a time of grief. This is nowhere to be found in early Sepharaidic sources, such as RAMBAM and RIF. In fact, even the great Ashkenazi codifier, Rabbeinu Asher, known as ROSH, makes no mention of this. (These three are considered the "pillars" of halachah). But nevertheless, it became firmly entrenched in Ashkenazic practice, spreading to the Sepharadim by the fifteenth century. No weddings were to be performed, and no hair cutting; a common sign of mourning among Jews. Some kept this during the entire "Sefira" ("counting" of the Omer) time. Some kept it only for the first thirty three days, some for the last thirty three. Similar to the kityniyot custom, this took on a life all its own, becoming stricter every few generations. By the nineteenth century, all large parties and celebrations were banned during this time, as being too similar to weddings. Twentieth century rabbis (both Ashkenazic and Sepharadic) forbade even recorded music. I asked some major poskim (decisors of halachah) for the basis of this extension, as I had heard reports of people asking rabbis and getting exemptions from these "rules". I was told that indeed, this was excessive, and could be ignored, but they didn't want to "go public" with opposition to what had become a widely accepted practice. I understand and respect that, but I question if it is wise to base so much of Judaism on mourning and regret. If seen in the context of history, i understand. But, in my opinion, we need to emphasize the love of life inherent in Torah. The Shulchan Aruch says no haircuts or weddings. Fine. This, too, is custom, not law. But the beautiful days of Spring, when, as Rabbi Nachman said, the very trees and herbs are singing the glory of G-d, and Talmudic law tells us to go out and praise G-d for the fruit trees in flower, we must not forget joy either. "Strength and Joy are in His Place" (1 Chronicles 16:27).