While in Yemen, the Jews kept Talmudic wedding traditions which have long since died out in other communities. However, in Israel, and other lands in which Yemenites have settled, many of these traditions have gone by the wayside, in favor of other practices more common in their new environment.
As I wrote about in my series "Jewish Marriage", the wedding ceremony actually consists of two ceremonies; the Kiddushin, which "consecrates" the bride to her groom, but does not yet permit her to him. She is, however, forbidden to every other man, and the Nissuin, which permits her to the groom. Nowadays these are done together (this is the reason for two cups of wine at the wedding). In Talmudic times, they were held some time apart, in order to allow the bride to prepare all of her needs in her new home. These were sometimes held as much as a year apart. In Yemen, the Kiddushin ceremony was performed in the evening, with little fanfare. The following morning the Nissuin were held in front of the home where the couple were to live. The most honored men in the community would dress the groom, while the most honored women would dress the bride. As the ceremony was done in the public street, an early hour (shortly after sunrise) was the usual time for the wedding, in order to minimize outsiders gawking at the sacred rites. Many features which we associate with Jewish weddings were absent. There was no canopy ( a medieval Ashkenazic custom), no ring (a silver coin was used instead), and no breaking of a glass. The colorfully dressed bride and groom were now prepared to marry. In the Yemenite tradition, it was the groom, not the rabbi, who was to recite the wedding benedictions. However, so as not to embarrass an unlearned groom (rare in Yemen!), someone (usually the rabbi) would recite the benedictions along with the groom. The Huppah, which is what other communities call the marriage canopy,was originally a specially built hut where the couple would consummate the marriage, and would hold celebrations for seven days. In Yemen, the couple's new home became the "hut", richly decorated with tapestries and other ornaments. The couple, immediately after the ceremony, would enter the home, and stay secluded for sufficient time that that relations could conceivably have taken place. They were now officially married! A feast was held outdoors. Remarkable to us, there were no actual musical instruments. This is in keeping with the Talmudic prohibition of musical instruments after the destruction of the Second Temple. Most other communities do not observe this prohibition, citing our need to be gladdened in the midst of our woes. In the "Old Yishuv", the centuries old Ultra-Orthodox community of Jerusalem, one single instrument is allowed at a wedding. The Yemenites, ever resourceful, have developed a uniquely beautiful system of making music...on old tin cans and oil drums. Unlike most Orthodox communities, where celebrations are held for seven days at the homes of friends and relatives, in Yemen, the friends and relatives would prepare feasts and bring them to the couple's new home. Time is given for the two to be alone, and become one.
Today, we find many combinations of Yemenite and non-Yemenite customs observed at weddings. I have witnessed every possible combination and permutation of the old and the new. Throughout it all, however, the uniqueness and beauty of the ancient path shine through.