I don't know exactly how to answer for how to see the good in abusive people. I have hair raising stories of people that... well, maybe they, once upon a time, long long ago... ah... I bet when they were a child they grabbed flowers for their mother. There... something positive.
Oh my gosh... my heart breaks for that child.
Wow... I don't even know what to do with that thought. But, I am not trying to see only good, throwing pixie dust on everyone around me, allowing for an abusive situation. I do, however, want to see good in that neighbor over there. And, if nothing else... I want to be judged with compassion and favor! So, how can I judge that person, right now, the way I want to be judged?