Some forty five years ago, I heard a lecture given by a prominent New York rabbi, who today is a major figure in Israel. The topic was birthdays. More specifically, why they are bad, and should not be celebrated. While it is true that birthday celebrations were not common in Jewish tradition; in fact, the only birthday mentioned in the Torah is that of Pharaoh, is it wrong to adopt the common practice? The rabbi giving the lecture said that it was very wrong. We have no greater gift than life. Why celebrate that another significant portion of it is gone, and we are that much closer to death? In the question and answer period afterwards, I asked him what he thought of the Chabad custom of utilizing the birthday as a day of introspection and taking stock? It is used for extra Torah learning, and giving tzedakah (charity). (Until 1975, every Chabad Chassid would have a private audience with the Lubavitcher Rebbe in honor of his birthday). The lecturer was taken aback by my question, and said he's need to think about it.
I do not know if he thought about it, but I certainly have. As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my teachers, as a young man, felt dejected at the ending of Passover. His teacher asked him the reason for his sadness. He responded that he loved Passover, and hated to see it go. His teacher said "on the contrary; a week ago you didn't have it, now it is yours forever!".
Life always has its ups and downs. But, if we look back honestly on each year, we will see the treasures that we picked up. The love of friends and family, the insights gained during prayer and Torah study, the experiencing of G-d in our lives; these are now ours forever! What is more, we get another year to try again! We have the previous year forever, but the mishaps of the year are excellent teachers for what to avoid, what needs improvement, what needs to be pursued with more enthusiasm and vigor. In my opinion, a birthday is to celebrate the eternal good I have gained, as well as the better life that awaits in the coming year and beyond.
Similar to the counting of the Omer; we don't count in ordinal numbers (Today is the first day, the second day...etc.). We count ""Today is one day, two days", until we get to "today is forty nine days". At that point, we celebrate Shavuot, having come with all the treasures of counting, and even some mourning associated with the Omer period. We have ups and downs, true. But we convert them all into joy! We HAVE them, and always will.Even the sadness is seen as part of the process of our journey to Sinai. Today I am sixty six years old. Mind you, not my sixty sixth year, but I now have sixty six years. In Hebrew, when a person tells his or her age, we say "I am the son (or daughter) of so many and so many years". Yes, the years are not lost. Like a beloved parent who is no longer with us, we remember what we had, and what lives inside of us still.Our Mothers and Fathers voices continue to guide us.
We each are on a journey. Let us learn the lessons, collect the treasures along the way, look forward to yet better and more meaningful experiences. Let us celebrate yesterday, yesteryear, and tomorrow!
"But he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast." (Proverbs 15:15