Once a rabbi asked me to do him a favor of taking some new utensils to the mikveh for him, as I was headed there anyway. I said "Sure", but I decided to do an experiment. "Do you want me to immerse each utensil once, or are you strict to do it three times?" In fact, there was never an opinion that we are required to immerse a utensil three times. He hesitated for a moment. "Of course three times!" He had taken the bait. On the outside chance that I knew of an opinion that he didn't know, let's do it! Rabbi Shabbetai Sabato, a prominent Israeli Sepharadic rabbi, once said to me: "Did you notice that the Talmud 'sifts' every question many times, before pronouncing anything permitted or forbidden? But in recent generations, we find that something is technically forbidden, but permitted by custom, or technically permitted, but forbidden by custom?" (He was criticizing the Ashkenazi halachic system, which had overflowed into many Sepharadic communities as well). Yes, in fact, I HAD noticed. This is what Pogo said in a famous cartoon "we have met the enemy, and he is us!".If a rabbi comes out permitting something that had wrongly been assumed to be forbidden, he will be disrespected. The Orthodox community just loves rabbis who find reasons to forbid the permitted. One Israeli rabbi made a name...and many lucrative positions...for himself by declaring peppers and eggplant to be not kosher. Although this view was not widely accepted, the fact is that people are quick to respond to rumors, and be dismissive of those that debunk those rumors. Thus, extreme positions tend to become halachah, without proper peer reviewed discussion. In my opinion, this results in ever increasing stringencies, which lock people out of Judaism, and make it increasingly unlivable. We forget the verse "Its ways are the ways of pleasantness." (Proverbs 3:17) This attitude is a large factor behind the conversion crisis, as well as the reason for "fallout" from Judaism. I could give hundreds of examples, but let us speak now about just a few. In the article I posted yesterday about how the Chief Rabbinate withdrew its acceptance of most conversions, including those done by previous Chief Rabbis, the impetus was a small group of American rabbis, who convinced the ant converts would be accepted, Chief Rabbi of the view of Rabbi Yitzchak Schmelkes, that a convert is no convert unless he observes every facet of halachah right off the bat, as well as that Modern Orthodox rabbis who see certain parts of Torah as allegory (especially the Creation narrative) are heretics, and thus invalid to be on a Beit Din. The Chief Rabbi immediately declared all RCA conversions invalid. The RCA buckled, and accepted the new standard. Only fully observant converts would be accepted, and only the rabbis with a literal approach to Scripture would be approved. But conversion affects only a relatively small percentage of the community. A few years ago, on a (liberal) rabbinic forum, a colleague raised the issue that being that it is "forbidden"to hold the evening service on Shavuot before nightfall, and he is the rabbi at a nursing home, where the patients must be in bed at an early hour, how should this be handled? I replied that it is not "forbidden", and only became a custom about 250 years ago in Eastern Europe only, and is denounced as baseless by Sepharadic rabbis. It should be fine to hold early services in this case. My colleagues replied "it is very dangerous to tell people that something they had always considered forbidden, is actually permitted". Kosher standards have changed drastically in the last forty years, and in some ways, even in the last five years.Some of this is due to misinformation and innuendo; but much of it is due to people demanding higher and higher standards from the Kashrut agencies becasue of something they had "heard". I will close this post, and this series, with one incident that I experienced. It is very telling. I have lost many friends over this. Please, no debate. If this offends you, please just leave quietly. When I lost my Father in 1985, the "prohibition" against listening to music weighed very heavily on me. For a "white noise" background, I would have the World Service of the BBC on the radio all day. When my Mother passed away in 1991, I dreaded another year of silence, with nothing but the sound of gunfire to fill the air in my apartment. (Remember, I was living in the "territories" ) I remembered that I had had a friend, who, in a similar circumstance had been permitted by Rabbi J.B. Soloveitchik to listen to broadcast or recorded music. The fact that it was second hand information, plus the fact that I was never partial to most of Rav Soloveitchik's views, made me feel that it would not be justified to follow him in this case. I went to speak with a prominent Jerusalem Hareidi rabbi whom I knew. A remarkable scholar, Hasidic (Skver), but yet the head of a well known Jerusalem Lithuanian Yeshiva, besides being a close confidant of Rav Elyashiv, the doyen of non-Hasidic Hareidi Judaism in Jerusalem. I will not mention his name, as this was told to me in confidence. He said "Reb Yaakov (my Hebrew name), let's be honest. ALL music is forbidden after the destruction of the Temple. (An exception is made in Hareidi Jerusalem, to allow a single instrument at weddings). This is clear in all sources. It is also clear that the primary prohibition is for celebratory, instrumental music. Then why is it done? Because, outside of group celebrations, we are using music as MEDICINE, to cheer us up and encourage us. There is zero difference between the Omer period, the days before Tish'ah B'Av, one in mourning, and the rest of the year. Broadcast or recorded music is not celebratory. There is no prohibition to use it as background, or to calm one's nerves, except for Shiv'ah (the seven days after the funeral when strict mourning rites are observed) and Tish'ah B'Av itself, as on these days we are not permitted to distract ourselves from the somber meaning of the events." I asked him "Why is this not stated publicly?, In fact, nearly every rabbi lists this among the prohibitions of the days of the Omer and the three weeks before Tish'ah B"av"." He answered "because rabbis consider it unwise to declare permitted what has been assumed for three generation to be forbidden". These things I have written are the main points. As Hillel said to the man who wanted to learn the entire Torah while standing on one foot "the rest is commentary. Go study!" We all need an education!