In the early '70s, I was the campus rabbi of Ohio State University, in Columbus. Two of the students were getting married in Cleveland. Their family rabbi was doing the wedding, but I was invited. I got a lift with a group of students who were also attending. Seated as I was in the back seat, I failed to notice that the young man driving was, in fact, speeding. Only when the flashing police lights signaled for us to stop, was I aware of the fact. The police, as is not uncommon, wanted to teach these "crazy kids" a lesson, The officers informed us that all the passengers of the car would be put in prison for the night, until we would stand before a judge the following morning. The driver thought fast and said "we are on our way to a wedding, and here is the rabbi". A policeman looked at me and said "You're a rabbi?" "Yes" I replied. "And you're on your way to a wedding?" Again, I responded in the affirmative. It was true. He didn't ask, after all, if I was the rabbi who was performing the wedding. He lifted his eyes to Heaven, and said "Far be it from me to interfere with an act of G-d!" With that he sent us on our way. I was grateful, but his words got me thinking. Is a wedding, from a Torah perspective, an act of G-d? To be sure, WHOM we marry is, according to our sages, ordained by G-d even before we are born. But the act of marriage, is essentially an act of Man. Whereas in most religions, it is the special powers believed to be invested in the clergyman that effects the bond of marriage, In our faith it is the actions of the bride and groom, doing what Torah requires, to make a marriage binding. The rabbi is there not as a priest with special powers, but as the guide through the laws and rituals. In fact, there is a huge problem of young teenagers, with a little bit of knowledge, accidentally getting married! (This is very common in summer camps). Every year, many such young people must go through a Jewish divorce (which I will discuss later in this series), or risk being guilty of adultery when, down the road, they wish to marry someone else.
So, what makes a marriage according to the Torah and halachah? Do all Orthodox Jews have the same laws? Do traditions differ? If so, why? What is the status of a Civil marriage? A Common Law marriage? What rules govern not only weddings, but the state of marriage? What are the obligations of a husband to his wife, and a wife to her husband? The wedding ceremony as it is done today, actually combines two separate ceremonies, which, in ancient times, were performed as much as a year apart. How, and why, did this change? Do Orthodox Jews go on a honeymoon? Why or why not?
These are the topics which I shall discuss in this series.