Haholchim B'Torat HaShem
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Jewish Marriage Part 6
Haholchim B'Torat HaShem
Tuesday August 21 2018, 1:30 PM

We left off at the point where the kiddushin (consecration) has taken place. The bride is now forbidden to every man in the world except the groom, but not yet permitted to him, either. The nissuin will be done now. In order to separate the two ceremonies, the ketubah, stipulating all of the obligations the groom now takes upon himself, is read. In some communities, although it was drawn up earlier, the formal acceptance is done at this point, including the signature of witnesses. The groom hands her the ketubah, which she hands over to her mother for safe keeping.
Originally, the nissuin ceremony was held at the huppah; the specially built hut where the couple would live for seven days. Seven blessings were recited, after which the couple would enter the hut and consummate their marriage. Later, the ceremony was performed in front of the newlyweds' new home. This was still practiced in some communities into the mid twentieth century; although, to the best of my knowledge, it is no longer the practice anywhere.
The current practice, at least a thousand years old in most communities, is the recitation of the "Seven Blessings", followed by the couple being alone in a room called the "Yichud Room" (Unity, Alone) in which the couple COULD,theoretically, consummate the marriage. Actually,the time will be used for that special first kiss and embrace. (Orthodox Jews avoid any physical contact before marriage). In Ashkenazic circles, in which the couple has been fasting, it is also the time to grab a bite to eat. The Yichud is done immediately after the wedding ceremony. Among Sepharadim, this is considered immodest, and is done discreetly during or after the reception.
The "Seven Blessings" were originally recited by the groom himself. Later, it was instituted that someone else recite the blessings, in order not to embarrass an unlearned groom. In Yemenite circles, the rabbi recited the blessings TOGETHER with the groom. In most communities, the blessings are divided up between honored guests.
The blessings are recited over another cup of wine. The first blessing is the blessing for wine:
Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, who creates the fruit of the vine. (In a few communities, this blessing is recited last).
The rest of the blessings are as follows:
Blessed are you, L-rd our G-d, who created all for His honor.
Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, who fashioned Man.
Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, who fashioned Man in His Image, in His very likeness, and prepared a perpetual mold (i.e., future people are in the likeness of the first man). Blessed are You, L-rd, who fashioned man.
May the barren one (the Land of Israel) rejoice greatly, when her children are gathered into her in joy.Blessed are You, L-rd, who makes Zion rejoice in her children.
Be very happy, beloved friends, as your Creator made you rejoice in the Garden of Eden long ago. Blessed are You, L-rd, who makes the Groom and Bride be happy.
Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, who created Joy and Gladness, Groom and Bride, (at this point, four different synonyms for "joy" are mentioned) love and Brotherhood, Peace and Friendship. may there speedily be heard, L-rd our G-d, in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of gladness, the voice of joy, the voice of Groom, the voice of Bride, the voice of grooms from their Huppah, and voice of young men at their celebrations. Blessed are you, L-rd, who makes the groom rejoice with the bride.
In most communities, a glass is now broken, so as to remember, even in times of greatest joy, that the Temple is in ruins. The groom steps on the glass, reciting our people's ancient oath "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, may my right hand wither". In a few communities, this is done at an earlier part of the wedding. These seven blessings will be recited again at the end of the wedding feast, and throughout the seven days of rejoicing.
More about that in my next post.