The couple are now married. The wedding ceremony is over. In Ashkenazic tradition, they have had their first minutes alone in the Yichud room. (Sepharadim, as I have written, do that later or even after the wedding feast has ended). The couple walk into the wedding hall and are greeted with ecstatic singing and dancing. Often, the bride and groom are lifted up on chairs by their friends and danced around. Causing joy for a bride and groom is a great mitzvah. Even distinguished rabbis will get up and dance before them. As, Kabbalisticly, the bride represents the "Shechinah"; the presence of G-d (see my posts on Kabbalah where I discuss this concept), special emphasis is placed on her. In many communities, there is a "Mitzvah Tanz" (Mitzvah Dance) in which the most distinguished people present will dance with the bride. Since physical contact is not allowed, a handkerchief is held with the bride grasping one side, and the various men the other in turn. I have also seen a gartel (prayer belt) used for this purpose. In some communities, the groom also participates in the Mitzvah Tanz with his new bride. In many communities, the young men will not only dance, but perform juggling, somersaults, and even put on humorous skits. The feast is then served, but between courses, as well as after the meal, the dancing and merry making resume with no holes barred. Since the bride and groom have been the recipients of special Divine Favor on this day, many people will approach them and ask for a blessing. In fact, many couples pray under the Huppah (just before the ceremony begins) for friends and family who may need something; especially for those who are single that they, too, may soon find their soul mates. (I was at a wedding in 1977 in which I knew the bride. She had me on the "singles list". She also had on that list my future bride, Sima. We met two months later.) At he end of the feast, all gather around a central table. The grace after meals is recited, followed by a repetition of the "Seven Blessings", again divided up between people whom the couple wish to honor. During the seven days of rejoicing, friends and family will prepare smaller feasts. Besides being a way of bringing the couple to joy, this also gives an opportunity for those who could not be accommodated at the wedding to take part in the festivities. (One Chassidic group actually has a rule that given the high cost of making a wedding, no more than forty people may attend. The remaining would-be guests are then invited to "Sheva Brachot" (Seven Blessings) celebrations during the week.) At least one person (in Seharadic tradition, two persons) who were neither at the wedding nor any previous Sheva Brachot for the couple must be present, in order to make the celebration "new". The Seven Blessings are recited at each of these celebrations for an entire week.
How beautiful to experience all these things! But what of those who don't? From a Torah perspective, what would be the status of civil marriage? Common law marriage? That will be the topic of my next post.