Now that the Seder Plate is ready, let's begin the Seder!
(1). KADESH make kiddush. A cup of wine is poured for each participant. The cup must hold a "revi'it", (estimated at 86 ml., although some say higher or lower). The usual holiday sanctification over the wine is recited, adding in parts for Shabbat when the holiday falls on Friday night, and a combined kiddush-havdalah when it falls out on Saturday night. The cup should be drunk all at once, while reclining to the left. If difficult, one may drink more than half, rather than all the cup.Preferably wine, rather than grape juice (an innovation that came in during prohibition beginning in 1920), should be used. But one who can't handle wine, or one who has an alcohol problem, may use grape juice in the first instance. In most families, only the head of the household recites the Kiddush, after which everyone drinks their cup. In some, every participant makes his own kiddush. Those Kabbalistically inclined, meditate on the letter Yud (the first letter of the Ineffable Name), which the first cup represents. After this, on every other holiday or Shabbat, we wash our hands, followed by the Hamotzi on bread. Now, we do indeed wash our hands, without saying the blessing (except Yemenites, who do). This is (2) .URCHATZ; wash. But instead of the Hamotzi, we take the (3) KARPAS (a vegetable, preferably celery, but there are many other customs), and dip it in a liquid (most Ashkenazim use salt water, most Sepharadim use vinegar, most Yemenites use Charoset), and eat it. The primary reason for this is to surprise the children, and make them ask questions. I have always found it amazing that children, even while still pre-verbal, get accustomed to a routine, and are shocked when it changes. I noticed with my own kids, that when I came home from synagogue on a Saturday night, they would begin to make sniffing noises, preparing to smell the spices used at havdalah. There are differences of opinion whether it is more proper to eat only a small piece of Karpas, or a larger piece. Most do the former, others (including your truly) do the latter. Let's leave it there, as the halachic arguments on each side would require an essay several times longer than this post. Next is (4) YACHATZ; dividing. As we have three matzot before us (some do only two, which is the older custom), we break the middle matzah (bottom one if using only two). Those who follow Kabbalah, try to break (or tear) the midldle matzah, so that the two sections form the two parts of the letter (Heh). The leader of the Seder holds up half of the middle matzah, and recites "This is the poor bread our fathers ate in Egypt", continuing with an open invitation to anyone who wishes to celebrate with us, and with a prayer that next year we may be free, in Jerusalem. That broken piece of Matzah is then put away in a bag (often ornately decorated), and will be eaten after the seder meal, It is known as "Afikoman", a Greek word, which means "Let's go out [from the meal]) More about that later. In Sephaardic tradition, the beautiful "misharotam" ceremony, which I have written about previously, happens here. The bag with the Afikoman is given to the child who will soon ask the four questions. He leaves the room, and knocks on the door. The leader asks "Who's there?" "A Jew!" Where are you coming from? "Egypt!" "Where are you going?" "Jerusalem!" At that pointy, everyone shouts "next year in Jerusalem!" The leader then asks "why have you come?' "I have some questions to ask." The child then approaches the table, and asks the four questions. I must admit (as I once again tear up) that this is my favorite part of the Seder. Had i become Sephaardic only for Misharotam, it would have been enough for me! The Afikoman is put away. In many families, it is hidden by the parents, and the children must find it, or the children hide it, and the parents must offer gifts to have it returned. This is by no means a universal custom, and there is no classical source for this. . Personally, I don't like the bartering aspect. What I always did in my family was to announce that whoever was still awake when the Afikomen is eaten (several hours later) would get a prize. A second cup of wine is poured, and we are ready for the narrative of the Exodus, 5) MAGGID; the telling.